That Sinking Feeling

“Help! I’m over here! I need help!”

The seaweed wrapped around my legs, threatening to pull me under. I flailed my arms, and gasped for breath. I looked to the shore. But I saw nothing but blue all around me. Not a single soul, nor a creature nor a breath of life. The sun beamed directly above me, and tiny fish swam away from my feet when I kicked to stay afloat.

But staying afloat was the easy part. The hard part was finding someone to rescue me.

A voice told me to begin swimming, so I pulled my waist up to water level and extended my arms over its surface. The rippling waves that had overwhelmed me just a minute ago had died down, making it easier to stay the course. The water that once felt so cool to my skin now left me feeling like an ice cube. I lifted both arms and plunged them into the ocean horizontally, launching me forward on a path reflecting the sky above. The dangers of the open sea were real, and I would not let it overtake me. This time.

With each breath, I swallowed sea water as I persevered. But it was a small price to pay. I needed to find land, or I would be dinner by midnight.

The tide had shifted to its evening course, and the heavens gave birth to shades of orange and pink. The sunset was my cue. Still no sign of sand, nor craft at sea. I was waking up from my dream of being rescued. The white clouds above rushed in, as if God herself was covering me in mercy. If only I believed any of that.

As I continued to swim, the voice of a friend echoed in my head. She had warned me that if I didn’t protect myself at all costs, I’d find myself adrift in danger. I didn’t understand what she meant at the time. But as I was moving along the top of the water in the direction of God knows where, I knew exactly what she meant.

I lifted my legs, ensuring they were not visible to sharks, and focused my gaze straight in front of me. As I bobbed along with the flattening waves, I realized the journey I had to endure was mine, and I had to own it. No one else could travel the path I needed to take. Indeed, there was no one to turn to, so dying was not an option.

With even more resolve than before, I vigorously skimmed the top of the water. The quiet voice lingering in my head was still hoping someone would lighten my burden.

As I was contemplating this thought, a tidal wave rushed in with the speed of a bullet. The water thrust me forward with the force of an oncoming train, knocking the wind out of me. Then, everything went pitch black.

~~~

I opened my eyes, and found myself floating on my back, face up, gazing at the stars that came out for the night. I gently rose and fell, as the ocean’s breath brought me back to life again. The sun shone on the horizon, and I was covered in seafoam. Smiling, I continued to drift, basking in the beauty on that serene evening.

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