Spiraling Upwards: Moving Towards a Better Place

I opened up a personal copy of one of my self-published books yesterday, which I lovingly call My Creative Therapy Journal, intending to use it for my own purposes. I am so glad I did this.

I found myself investigating the color palette of the crayons given to my third oldest son on his birthday when he was still in elementary school by his grandmother. This was my mother, who herself used to be an artist as a child. Pulling out the best matches for the color scheme I needed, I discovered the sunset colors. I have been enjoying the beautiful arrangement of these hues in my home lately, all for different reasons. I love pink because, well, it’s pink! So feminine, so reminiscent of floral design, a favorite in pastel for my fingertips. The color orange has a bold yet autumnal flavor. As I prepare for fall itself, I am eagerly anticipating decorating my home with constant reminders of my favorite season of the year. In a picture my oldest child drew when they were very young, I saw these colors mirrored back to me. It reminded me of simpler times, yet also of moments when the future felt uncertain, though full of hope and high expectations.

Opening up the journal, I began to draw spirals, a symbol I have been drawing a lot lately. As I traced these spirals with various colors of the evening sky, I once again pondered my future, and smiled as I quietly considered the possibilities.

When I have felt down, or felt like I was descending into depression, I have used the term spiraling. But is it possible to spiral upwards?

Yes, I believe I can do this. I can move into a place where I can wake up in joy everyday, where I am pleased to be who I am. Where I am free to love how I wish. Thinking about this brings me a sense of freedom I have never experienced before in my life. For the first time ever, I have been able to wake up the past several days and instantly feel joy and freedom. I have realized and recognized the truth about my world, as I watch the pieces of the mysterious puzzle that is my life fall into place, even after fifty years of living on this planet. It took five decades for me to understand who I am, fully and completely. And I would dare say I am still evolving! What I needed to do was 1) be willing to let go of the past, and 2) be ready for whatever happens in my present and future. I took that leap earlier this year, though the setbacks were real, and I found myself stumbling in the process. Yet I never looked back. Life is only going to get better from here. It’s something I feel deep down that will come to pass.

My goal is to keep moving forward, on the path I believe was intended for me. Certain truths have been slowly revealing themselves to me over time, and it has come to my attention that I am ready now for this final truth. And it’s a big one. Time will continue to tell, but the season is upon us, and it is quite literally already here. This autumn will be the best one ever. I just know it.

This week’s post is a poem I wrote yesterday, called Sunset. It was written somewhat in haste, as I sat outside last night watching the sun go down, hoping to finish before dusk turned to dark skies above. So much on my mind, but as the day came to an end, I was reminded it’s okay to put some things to bed until their proper time.

May you enjoy many more sunsets (and sunrises) this week! The colors are beautiful!